“Either/Or”, “And/But”

It’s 6:23 in the morning as the light comes in from the East. The pines, river birches and oaks reach out to a blue sky, dappled with diaphanous clouds.  A rabbit hops through the grass as a chipmunk scurries across the deck. The tomatoes are turning red in the garden. A butterfly dances past my head. A gentle breeze blows and, everywhere I gaze I see green—nature’s calling card. The song of the cicadas plays as background to the chirping birds. It is an incredible summer morning.

Sitting on the deck, I was amazed, again, by the sheer beauty of our world. It struck me that nature isn’t an either/or. The sky doesn’t have to be perfectly blue or overcast. Nature doesn’t have to be silent or vociferous. The garden doesn’t have to be in full bloom or barren. There are many degrees of separation between the two extremes of either/or.

We often think that we have to be “either/or”. We sometimes believe the choice is limited to only two options.
either I’m a success or I’m a failure
either my marriage is perfect or it’s a mess
either I’m a hero or a villain
either my life is picture perfect or it’s awful
either I contribute to this world or I take from it
either I’m beautiful or I’m ugly
either my friends really love me or they simply put up with me
either I matter or I don’t
either I’m making a profound difference or I’m completely powerless
either my breadth of knowledge is extensive or I’m stupid
either I am truly child of God, with value or I am worthless

Do you think in those restrictive ways?
You don’t have to be confined by only those two alternatives.

What about the “and/but”?

Some days you may be aware that you matter a lot, are truly important, and are making a positive impact on our world, and some days you may struggle with “who you really are”.
You may decide that your life or marriage or relationships aren’t perfect, but that doesn’t mean they’re awful. 
It’s okay to recognize that you have a lot of knowledge in some areas and know nothing about lots of other topics.
It’s only human to want to feel successful and attractive, but if you’re not the CEO of a fortune 500 company or a super model, it doesn’t mean that you’re “less than”.
There are times you can be both a hero, and a villain in the same 24 hours.
And perhaps most importantly—regardless of what’s going on in your life right now, you are never worthless, and you are always (all ways) a child of God.  

either:orLet’s try to shift the focus of “either/or” to “and/but”. If your response is an automatic, “I’ve been conditioned to think in absolute ways like this”, or “growing up I was either ‘good’ or ‘bad’—there was no middle ground”, open your mind to these other possibilities. Just because you always thought “this way” is not a good reason for continuing it.

Take the time, this week, to see how you’re putting yourself in the “either/or box”. Where are you especially hard on yourself? Choose to see who you are from a different place, with a sense of awe and wonder instead of judgment and disrespect. Do not imprison yourself (your self) in a box of limitation.

No matter how you come to this place, this day, this hour, this moment, never forget that you are not “either/or”. Who you are is a brilliant, multi-faceted, beautiful, valuable, important soul residing in a human body. Who you are is love. Who you are is light.
Kay

©2016 peace full home™/intentional living

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Thank you,
Kay

 

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