Light, Love & Hats

In our lifetimes, most of us wear many hats: parent, grandparent, sister, brother, friend, politician, nurse, writer, partner, artist, banker, chef—the list can be never-ending.
What are your roles? Are there many in each day?

Under those hats, we sometimes put on masks: serious, happy, fulfilled, peaceful, available, generous, confident, approachable, knowledgeable—this list, too, goes on and on.
Often, we let our hats and masks define us because we feel that we can’t or shouldn’t be ourselves.

But, if you do enough parading around in hats and masks, believing you must “fit in,” you risk losing sight of who you are at your core. You might begin to think you’re “supposed” to be: the person who’s accepted, who fits in, and who’s doing a great job in the role being played.
You might miss the importance of simply being if you’re busy pretending and doing.

Some roles were likely imposed before you ever had a chance to develop a sense of self. Children hear things like:
“Don’t cry; you’re a boy,”
“You’re so smart that you’ll always excel in school,”
“You have to go to college,”
“You must carry on the family name,”
“I know you’re going to be an artist (or attorney or plumber) just like me,”
“You’re fat (or skinny or clumsy).”
“You’re bad,”
“You’ll never amount to anything.”
Whew! What we carry from our youth impacts our entire life.

It’s tough to walk through life being who you were told to be. Maybe you’ve played so many roles that you’ve never figured out who you genuinely are. Many of us have spent our entire lives in “wardrobe and makeup.” When I meet new people, my introduction is: “My name is Kay McLane,” not “I’m Kay McLane,” because I am not my name.
Now, when I answer that question, I share more about how I walk through life instead of my various careers or what I’ve done to earn a living.
Start defining yourself with a “Personal Mission Statement” that shares the essence of who you desire to be.

How do you want to live outside your career or volunteerism (unless that’s your primary passion)? If this is your first time considering this (whether you’re twenty or seventy), identify and list what matters most. Find a way to balance your “career life” with the rest of your life by allowing those paths to merge. Whether you’re eighteen or eighty, it’s not too late to “create yourself.”

My personal mission statement has changed over time. At this point, my desires are to walk through life with joy and grace, make a difference in the short time I’m on this planet, and honor others with respect, dignity, and kindness.

Create a place to relax, have fun, and be yourself; it’s critical. Be purposeful about shaping a home that nourishes and nurtures who you are. Surround yourself with people who honor and lift you up, then work on “being,” not just “doing.”

Who are you?
You are light and love.
You are a beautiful masterpiece.
You matter.
You have value.

May your day be blessed.
Love,
Kay