There are more than 6,000 spoken languages on our planet! And, it’s estimated that there are over 300 languages used for communication in The United States of America alone!

But today, I want to talk about we communicate with each other, not the astonishing number of dialects used.

Sometimes, we forget how to calmly express how we feel, or we choose not to communicate at all. Perhaps, we never learned how to engage in meaningful conversation or decided that it was too intense or believe the other person simply isn’t worth the effort.

We might hold in our words—allowing them to tumble around in our three-pound brains—often becoming choking, incessant clanging gongs of sorrow or fear or loneliness.

Other times, language erupts from our mouths in torrents filled with anger, pain, or abandonment because we never feel “heard,” even when we do our best to express ourselves.

Those two opposites are played out in relationships (of all kinds), and neither behavior is healthy. And whether both parties are shutting down or spewing out, or the two extremes are happening simultaneously, everyone loses.

And, “communication” isn’t only verbal. The physical ways we behave towards others send very loud messages too. If your partner, friend, parent, or child is being vulnerable and sharing what’s on their mind, and all that’s received is a blank stare or stony silence, or you simply get up and walk away, this unambiguous message is being sent: “You are not valuable enough to be respected and heard.” If that happens often enough, that person may simply give up and walk away if they’re able.

When we feel comfortable calmly sharing our truths—when we’ve been heard and then answered with respect—doors are opened, not slammed shut.

In healthy relationships:
• You can say what you genuinely mean, believing that you’ll be listened to and understood when you express your feelings.
• You don’t need to raise your voice or beg to be acknowledged when sharing your concerns or fears.
• You are willing to hear what the other says, even if you disagree.
• You honor the right to have different opinions.
• You feel valued and loved.
• You honor the sacredness of each other.

Life is so very fragile.
We humans with three-pound brains can be so very fragile.
Our time, in this life, on this planet is limited.

Know your value.
Require respect.
Love yourself—always—because you, a valuable child of God, are worth that.
❦