It was 3:47 am when I opened my eyes. I didn’t know the time at first; I just knew it had to be early because it was still dark. There was no sound except for the whir, whir, whir of the ceiling fan.
I lay there for a few minutes, then got up to look at a clock. Yep, it was not time to be awake! I had two choices: get moving and start “doing” things like writing, client work, laundry, cleaning, organizing—I could go on and on, or (and this is a giant “or”) I could go back to bed, lie there and choose to not get up until the sun decided to rise too. This may sound like a straightforward decision. For many people, it would be easy to simply go back to sleep, but not for me.
started breathing slowly,
started mentally reciting my go to prayers and “Thank You God list”,
started to think about not thinking so darned much and
started to imagine how to offer myself grace—beautiful grace, restful grace, abundant grace, amazing grace.
how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me.
how rare you are
in humans just like me.
I once was lost
but now am found
twas blind but now I see.
I’m often lost
and miss the signs
please don’t give up on me.
I know that my spirit’s saying, “Help me to spend time, that I don’t yet realize I need, on finding more grace notes.”
Sometimes I have to be okay with being “good enough”—not amazing or wonderful or awe-inspiring. Sometimes I have to lean into grace and accept myself just the way I am—damaged and vulnerable and often road-weary. Sometimes, I have to remember that God’s okay with me just the way I am.
Do any of those feelings resonate with you too?
There will always be predators of joy—those who want to sap your strength, put you “in your place”, and try to make you believe that you have no right to be happy. But, one of the greatest gifts we come to this Earth with is the ability to experience joy. And, joy needs grace to walk alongside her. Joy and Grace—the dynamic duo.
Grace is God’s favor shining on us—unwavering, accepting, embracing us in all our less-than-perfectness. Grace is that presence that envelops us, saying, “You are a child of God”, even when it’s dark. Grace is not something that can be bought, or bottled to access when needed. It can’t be coerced or earned or amassed. Grace simply is. And, that’s what makes it amazing.
Amazing Grace, come hold my hand,
as I journey through this life.
I know you’re there, right by my side
in sorrow, joy and strife.
Some pain I simply can’t “unfeel”,
some words I can’t “unhear”.
But with your help, Amazing Grace,
I know that God is near.
©peace full home®/intentional living