Being An Understudy

I woke up this morning to the sound of birds chirping outside my bedroom window—how wonderful. Spring is my favorite season of the year because, in my area of our country, everything that’s been dormant is springing back to life. Even in years where I have experienced “winters of discontent”—as Shakespeare’s Richard III said—spring has given me new hope; a chance to start fresh; an opportunity to re-imagine new possibilities. Sometimes those desired possibilities are huge, but sometimes they’re very basic and humble and honest. This springtime I’m cognizant of a shift in my consciousness—a heightened awareness of asking, “who am I?”, “what is my true purpose here”?

The forsythia are already “out of season”. Their color dances through our lives for such a short time. It heralds the introduction of spring and leaves us wanting more. What if the brilliant yellow stayed forever? Would we then not see the beauty? What if the people we see everyday lose their luster to us, and we don’t recognize that until they too are gone?

IMG_4238I was out in the yard, talking to God—asking questions that may not have answers—questioning so much. I came in and opened the mail. There was a card from a friend that filled my heart with love, my eyes with tears, and my spirit with joy. How does one person impact another’s life so much? How do I deserve that?

I desire to be a perpetual “student of life”, a “rock star” on the stage of my reality. But….there are times when I feel like an understudy in my own life. I’m observing from the shadows, peeking through the curtain, just waiting for an opportunity to step in. I’m so busy “watching all the activity”; memorizing how to respond to each other “actor” that I forget to reflect back and check-in with how I’m feeling.

There are times when I feel like a puppeteer, responsible for too many characters, unable to juggle them all at once.

There are times when I feel like a street person, constantly seeking warmth, even in the heat of the summer.

I forget, sometimes, that it’s important to always treat myself lovingly.
Spring helps to remind me of that.
Kay

©2016 Peace Full Home/Intentional Living

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Being An Understudy

  1. BEAUTIFUL!

    Larry Deiter
    Connect-Tek, Inc.
    47 Feick Industrial Dr.
    PO Box 495
    Shartlesville, PA 19554
    610-488-9700
    Fax 610-488-9701

    Like

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