I’m not a movie-making expert, but I know some basics. Actors do “table reads” during rehearsals going through each scene. They “block” to make sure they’re in the right place with the right equipment. There are “takes” when they’re in front of the cameras—sometimes they get everything right the first time. Often, however, they hear “take 3, or maybe even “take 82”.
“Real” life somewhat mimics a movie being shot. First, there’s a “read” (maybe not at a table and probably alone), where you think about what you want to do or say. Next, you might “block through” the conversation, maybe while taking a walk, driving to work, or discussing with a trusted friend, running through scenes, imagining how it’ll “play out.” You want to make sure that (just like in that movie) you’re in the right place at the right time. Finally, you’re ready for your “take;” for “lights, camera, action!”
Unfortunately, unlike a movie, you don’t usually get 82 opportunities to get it right; you don’t get to delete the footage and reshoot.
We totally understand why there are so many “takes” in a movie before it’s “right,” but we often can’t wrap our arms around the idea that we, and the people we spend life with, sometimes get it wrong. We don’t want to accept it when we simply miss the mark?
When you learn to be at peace with your and other’s occasional mistakes, you’re able to let go of anger, pain, mistrust, or even hate, opening the door to forgiveness.
Forgiving is not the same as forgetting.
Forgiving doesn’t minimize or mitigate the harm that’s been done to you. You’re not saying, “it’s okay that you hurt me”; “the pain you’ve caused doesn’t matter.” It’s choosing to pardon so that your heart is free to open up, allowing you to move on with your life, ending another human’s power to impact your joy and happiness. And forgiving doesn’t require remaining connected to that person. ❶
Sometimes you have to liberate yourself from a relationship so that you can find peace.
Often, your residual suffering isn’t even impacting the people who’ve hurt you. Chances are good that they’ve already “moved on.”
Living with anger or pain ends up making your life less joyful.
Unlike a movie, you may not be able to rewrite every scene—or play the superhero who eradicates evil, negativity, and just plain nastiness from your world—but you can free yourself from allowing it to destroy your peace by moving forward.
And, stop being so hard on yourself for the times you’ve messed up, for the wrong choices you’ve made, for the scenes you wish you would have done differently.
Your mistakes do not define you.
They may have taught you an excruciating lesson, or they may have simply pointed you in a better direction.
How you live now defines you.
Choose to create your own destiny, the life you desire. That includes not being afraid to make a mistake. (God knows I’ve made many of them!) Follow your inner voice; it’s better to try something and mess up than not try at all. Don’t end up regretting what you didn’t do because you were too afraid to take the chance.
Move forward; don’t stand still.
Acknowledging that we’re human and all make mistakes, then forgiving ourselves and those who’ve hurt us, is a beautiful start to a more peaceful world, and we all need that.
©peace full home.com®/intentional living, 2013-2021
❶ This is obviously very challenging if the person is a family member. Please reach out to me if you’d like to discuss, Kay
What wonderful incite this message contains! A book which really impacted me is: Getting Past What You’ll Never Get Over by John Westfield. His examples are in clear, easy to understand examples. Lately, I’m finding out how important it is to forgive myself for my part in these choices. THANKS Kay!
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Thank you, Carol. I agree, self-forgiveness opens the door of restoration and offers us the opportunity to move forward.
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