“Truth or Dare” is something I’ve never played, having heard too many stories of young (and not-so-young) people divulging personal information or performing dangerous, humiliating, or out of their comfort zone “dares.” (What we sometimes do to others, or allow them to make us do, is heartbreaking.) Unlike the game “truth or dare,” I’m talking about truth and dare.
the big question
What if you risk being honest, sharing your pain, or standing up for yourself, and a giant door slams in your face—a door that’s too heavy to reopen, a door that shuts you out—simply because you dared to speak your truth?
Well, conventional wisdom suggests that if you share what’s on your heart, even if the collateral damage is significant, the honesty is worth it. Often, however, that’s easier said than done.
There’ve been times when:
• fear shook me to my core, and I didn’t believe in myself enough to be heard
• choosing the “shut up and deal dance” was more comfortable than expressing my true feelings, or
• sharing vulnerably didn’t make a difference at all.
But, thank God, there’ve been times when being open and transparent bore the fruit of understanding and peace.
Like many people, I don’t like confrontation in my personal life. Laughter, joy, acceptance….yes, but conflict isn’t anywhere on my list! So, I’ve had to intentionally work at backing away from someone or something not good for me. Awareness calls us to realize that some people shouldn’t be in our lives, and some situations impede living into our highest selves.
daring to make changes….listening to your truths
Begin “truth and dare” with yourself. Take a risk. Dare to be completely honest. Embrace the truths of who you are, what you’re capable (or incapable) of. Acknowledge that you can’t “be all” for all.
Next, acknowledge what you’re holding onto involving people or situations that have hurt you or made you feel “less than.” (Most of us have those.) Look at each one, wrap it in forgiveness, then cross it off the list, committing that you’ll no longer give it power. Then, with your sense of self-worth leading the charge, take the next step, and dare to (wherever possible) choose to remove situations and people who hamper your growth.
There have been times when—despite my fear—I’ve gotten out of my own way, spoken my truth, and told someone how their behavior hurt me. Sometimes, that sharing resulted in radio silence or denial. But, other times, an awareness swept over that fellow human, and I heard something that mended my broken heart or salved a bleeding wound.
I’m getting better, but often, I’ve not chosen that path. Fear has regularly encouraged me to walk the “path of least resistance.” (We often teach what we have to learn.)
But, being truthful with myself is something I’ve gotten really good at! I’m aware that if I can’t look in the mirror and be authentic, there’s no way I’ll ever live peacefully and with intention.
Telling the truth to ourselves, about ourselves, is one dare I think all of us can take.
Please help spread the word of peace full home® and invite your friends to our peace-filled conversations.