Many years ago, I experienced moving in and out of the dark. Someone I love was in crisis, and there were times I feared a tragic outcome. It was terrifying and tested my strengths and beliefs.
I was walking in the dark.
But, in that dark, there was still light. I was continually shown the real power of love, the resilience of the human spirit, and the gift of people who love “in good times and in bad.”
I glommed onto that light.
One evening, during the “days of dark,” I attended a Christmas Eve get-together. When I left, it was late, snowing, and there was no one else on the road. I was alone, sad, and heading home to an empty house. I typically drive in silence, letting my thoughts swirl around in my mind. That night, however, it was too quiet. My mind was racing with the “what ifs” we ask when we’re afraid. I turned the radio on, hoping it would mitigate the cacophony of noise in my head and the overwhelming silence outside my body. “Where Are You Christmas”—which always reminds me of my Dad—was playing:
“Where are you Christmas,
Why can’t I find you,
Why have you gone away,
Where is the laughter,
You used to bring me,
Why can’t I hear music play.”
I started crying, not weeping—a guttural cry filled with angst, pain, loss, pity, and fear.
It was very dark.
The next day was better. It was my granddaughter’s first Christmas, and holding her and seeing her joy reminded me of hope and life.
I found some light in the dark.
That dark and light period lasted for a challenging few years but blessedly had a happy ending. Love, positive energy, and the right physician changed the outcome. That storm was weathered.
There was light (and gratitude).
When my Mom died in 2009, I was heartbroken. She was my anchor on sometimes tumultuous journeys. I aspired to be the same for her, and even though I was happy that she was released from physical pain, there was a hole in my life when she moved on to the spirit side.
It was dark again.
Shortly after her death, I was asked, “Are you ever going to smile again?” I responded with a simple, “I don’t know.” But, of course, I did smile (and laugh and sing and rejoice in life) again! Yesterday, I told you the flashlight story. There are so many wow moments when I continue to see God in another person.
Love has turned the light on over and over in dark times.
Darkness can envelop us when we lose someone we love, face significant life changes, are lonely, afraid, in crises or pain, and when we’re stuck, not knowing how to move forward. COVID-19 has impacted our planet in all these ways.
Sometimes when we’re walking in the dark, we can’t even see a foot ahead of us, and that can be scary. Life as we knew it (or as we assumed it would stay) has been altered. But we can move through this together, with respect, understanding, and patience (even when our opinions aren’t the same as others). Remembering that we’re all spirit energy inhabiting these, mostly clunky, bodies with three-pound brains helps too!
I know I’m blessed. I know that I have had more than my share of torch-bearers, candle-lighters, and flashlight-holders in my life. These folks have given me hope, joy, and peace. I honor that and, I pray for those blessings for you as well.
With gratitude for all the beautiful lights in our world,
©peace full home.com®/intentional living, 2013-2020
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