ONCE UPON A TIME
when i was young, i ran through soft, green grass
unafraid of mud squishing between my toes,
unafraid of worms or bugs or other creatures.
i heard all the morning birdsong,
i saw bunnies scamper looking for food.
i waited for the deer to stop by in the dark,
and partake of fruit from the apple trees.
nature in her amazing glory; i saw it all.
life was a celebration that i thought would never end.
when the grass was green, i felt hope and freedom and adventure.
the sun kept her part of god’s bargain, shining down, smiling.
now, the grass has faded just like me.
weeds take over its lushness.
i fear that thorns, hurled through the wind, will land where i walk.
now, the sun doesn’t shine as brightly.
the birds may sing, but i rarely hear them.
now, all i see is what the deer leave behind;
half-eaten apples and messes to be cleaned up.
now, the hours of darkness outnumber the hours of light.
i am smaller in the dark.
now, the song doesn’t sing as loudly in my heart.
sometimes, it’s silent altogether.
did nature stop expanding
or, did i simply grow weary;
unable to see and hear and taste the goodness of life?
trees stayed green longer.
the air smelled sweeter.
cycles of life didn’t move as quickly.
there was light and warmth, not dark and cold.
life was adventurous, not weary.
it was overflowing not dying.
do the stars shine less brightly,
or has my vision been clouded?
when did i give up believing in possibility?
when did i give up believing in magic?
when did i give up?
come back to me possibility.
come back to me magic.
come back to me beautiful stars.
come back to me abundant earth.
come back to me laughter.
come back to me joy.
i am still that child.
i just need to be reminded.
oh, light of my youth, why do you keep pushing through my door;
taunting me, reminding me of what was, what could have been?
you see that i’m not answering your knock.
From Poems & Random Thoughts About Life by Kay McLane
©2019 kay mclane, peace full home®/intentional living