The physical foundation of my home has been compromised. Work I paid, a considerable amount, to have done years ago was executed incorrectly leading to the sagging of the entire back of the house. French doors were installed the wrong way, the “sill plate”, under the doors wasn’t put in properly, things that should have been “wrapped” and insulated weren’t….the list of “issues” goes on. Everything from the deck boards to the siding to the doors had to be ripped out so that the contractor could start over and rebuild from the ground up. Of course, homeowners insurance doesn’t cover any of this, since it was a problem that occurred over time.
It’s been upsetting and expensive and it’s turned the house upside down not only because everything outside had to be taken down, but also because everything inside had to be moved as well. Kitchen cabinets had to be emptied, art taken off the walls, furniture pushed back and covered, plastic hung inside to minimize dirt and dust.
Working through this situation has me thinking about the foundations in our homes that aren’t structural. If the non-physical foundations of our homes aren’t stable, just like a building, our homes could fall too.
In order for your home’s foundations to be strong you need a place where:
~you feel safe
~you’re not afraid to express what you’re feeling
~there’s beauty (whether it’s flowers you picked outside, a drawing a child made that makes you smile, or the perfect set of glassware)
~you can relax and recharge
~the spaces reflect who YOU are
~you have breathing room without tons of “stuff”
~you can celebrate your life- your everyday, not just special occasion life
~you can be yourself
In your home, do you ever feel like “you’re walking on eggshells”; that you’re walking around afraid to say what you’re thinking, or to express your opinion for fear of upsetting someone else, or getting another person angry? Do you ever have the feeling that if “just one more thing” tips the scale, you’ll fall apart; that you have the weight of the world on you shoulders? Do you live in chaos with clutter and disarray because you have so much STUFF to take care of that just thinking about it exhausts you?
Just like a homeowners policy that doesn’t cover damage outside “certain parameters”, we don’t have insurance on the non-physical foundation of our homes. We need to create a way of insuring that we feel safe and secure. We can begin to do that by being “real” and honest and knocking down walls we’ve built that hurt each other and then rebuilding them with spaces of understanding and love. Of course, we can’t control everything; people we love die, careers end, life changes, but we can change what is in our sphere of influence.
In our house we knew there was a problem because the wall in the dining room buckled, the cabinet in the kitchen shifted, and the countertop cracked, all because what was supposed to be holding everything up fell apart. As in our lives, if we don’t acknowledge that there’s a problem, we can’t start the process to fix it.
Are you what’s holding your home up? If you live with other people are you the strong foundation or you one of the crumbling blocks? If you live alone do you create a place that lifts you up or depresses you?
We need a quartet of strong personal foundations to support our homes.
What is your physical foundation? Do you try to eat well? Do you take care of yourself? Do you get outside for some fresh air? Do you honor the body you’re walking through this life with?
What is your emotional foundation? Do you feel loved, cared for, and involved? Do you spend time with people you like or love, and then spend time alone to “recharge”? Do you love yourself?
What is your mental foundation? Do you view and read things that lift you up or is your only “entertainment” filled with violence and sadness? Do you challenge yourself and continually grow?
What is your spiritual foundation? Do you have a belief in a Higher Power? Do you honor your spirit? Do you take time to be still and listen to your inner voice?
If we don’t take care of our personal foundations- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, we can’t take care of our houses. If we can’t take care of our houses, it’s really tough to create a home.
The best home is built on a foundation of love, trust and joy,
which leads to a Home Full of Peace—a Peace Full Home.
©2014 Peace Full Home/Intentional Home