As I back the car out of the garage, I realize how very fortunate I am to have a garage to “house” my car. Obviously (or maybe not?), most people don’t own cars.
We often simply accept (or take for granted) our realities making it easy to forget how much we have.
There are many situations that create homes that are less than peaceful. We can’t control some of them—like neighbors, noise or environment.
We may not like it, but we usually end up accepting it as part of our current reality.
What we can influence (at least to some degree) are our personal spaces.
We have to recognize that we can make things different from what they currently are—and I’m not necessarily talking about an exprensive renovation. I’m talking about awareness.
When you walk through the same place every day you often don’t really see it anymore. In talking to students and clients, I call it “The Sock on the TV Phenomenon”. Let me explain. Imagine that you’re rushing through your house one morning, carrying a basket of laundry, and a sock falls out. On your way back through the room you see it, but you’re running late so you pick it up and lay it on top of the TV. When you get home that night, you see that sock, but you’re exhausted and just leave it there knowing that tomorrow you’ll make it right.
This keeps happening, but each time the sock becomes less obvious until, eventually, you just don’t “see” it. We get so accustomed to seeing something, that it simply becomes “wallpaper”—the background to life. It happens in all of our spaces. We get used to, and eventually accept, how things are because it’s easier than “putting the sock away”. What’s really in your home? Is it necessary, important, valuable?
Can you look at your home differently and choose to alter what you’re currently simply accepting?
Sadly, there are “socks” that aren’t physical, living in our homes too. They’re the enemies of joy, destroyers of love, and adversaries of peace-filled homes. Unnamed, they have even more power because they work insidiously—behind the scenes, destroying, taking away, and assailing the good. Just like we don’t always see some of the physical “socks” in our homes, we do the same with monumentally more damaging situations.
The first time someone asks a question and isn’t answered it’s hurtful, but if that disregard becomes the status quo, eventually the person doesn’t even expect an answer.
The first time someone is marginalized, the feeling is profound. After time—with enough deprecation—he/she expects to be treated as less than because “that’s just how it is”.
The first time someone is slapped by a partner he or she is shocked, scared and angry. After that scenario plays out a few—or a hundred—more times it, very sadly, becomes part of some people’s realities.
When do we stop accepting the unacceptable?
Sometimes we give up trying to manage “it” because—in order to do that—we’d have to own up to “it” and truly see those things that slowly and quietly took up residence in our hearts or spirits or homes.
Homes that are full of peace require work. They call us to pick up our literal socks and create spaces that are serene, nurturing, safe and peace-full. We need to see, with new eyes, our surroundings.
Lives that are full of peace requre work too. We can get so caught up in our day-to-day routines that we’re often on “autopilot”—just going through and living out, not ever thinking about what we’re doing. We know the story so well, that we don’t consider adding spontaneous dialogue or new text to the “pre-planned program”. No revisions are needed. In fact, they’re not allowed because we’ve closed the door, bolted it and hidden behind it.
This week, I challenge you to see your value. To listen to your spirit. And, to recognize what really matters in your journey of life. Becasue, you are worth it.
©2019 peace full home®/intentional living
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