Do you ever wonder what you could do to bring more peace and joy into your home and world? Do you have lists (in your head, on your phone, on little scraps of paper) of what you’d like to change?
I watch the ripples change their size
but never leave the stream…
and so the days float through my eyes
but still the days seem the same
David Bowie “Changes” 1971
Do you watch the ripples of your life move around but never really change—your days seeming the same even when you hope for them to be transformed?
We’ve become accustomed to instant gratification. We’re able to stop at “always open” convenience stores, have access to the world 24/7, and can flip through hundreds of media choices to find something we want to watch. We’ve forgotten how to wait because we expect so much.
We expect change to happen on our time schedules. We believe that our “unwillingness to wait reasons” are really valid. Sometimes they are: you may need a job now, or have been praying for someone you love for a long time, or are really tired and are afraid you’re on the brink of just giving up.
When change doesn’t happen on our schedules, we often believe we’ve failed—to work enough, pray enough, change ourselves enough. We’ve heard “if at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again”, but think, “that’s a lot easier said than done!”, so we retreat.
Shutting Up and Dealing
Many of us do, what I call, “the shut up and deal dance” instead of the work necessary to make changes. There are certainly times when I have!
Sometimes, it seems easier to accept the unacceptable then it does to stand up and be heard—especially when you’ve tried and it’s gotten you nowhere. Or, you may think that in order to live peacefully with another person you have to avoid any conflict that may occur as a result of being a change-seeker.
Unfortunately, the outcome of “shut up and deal” is resentment, hurt, frustration, and sadness. When you don’t express what you need, you become impotent because how you feel does matter—but you can’t assume another person can read your mind. You need to share what’s on your mind and in your heart.
A New Day
I know it’s often tough to see each moment as a gift, but every day we do get a chance to start over. It’s not likely that we’re not going to wake up with a completely changed reality (or viewpoint) than what we had when we closed our eyes, but there are some things that we can do differently than we did the day before—some changes we can make in the new day.
Be kind to yourself and bend with the wind of change. You probably can’t conquer the world in 24 hours, but you can give yourself permission to be grateful, to listen to the quiet voice inside you, to shout for joy, or connect with another person (you may just change his or her day). See yourself as strong, capable, resilient, and special (you are).
And, let those winds of change blow through your home. With a foundation that’s strong, you’ll have the groundwork on which to build your Peace Full Home.