Do you ever wonder what you could do to bring more peace and joy into your home and world? Do you have lists (in your head, on your phone, on little scraps of paper) of what you’d like to change?
I watch the ripples change their size
but never leave the stream…
and so the days float through my eyes
but still the days seem the same
David Bowie “Changes” 1971
Do you watch the ripples of your life move around but never really change—your days seeming the same even when you hope for them to be transformed?
We’ve become accustomed to instant gratification. We’re able to stop at an “always open” convenience store, have access to the world 24/7, and can flip through hundreds of media choices to find something we want to watch. We’ve forgotten how to wait because we expect so much.
Many of the changes we hope for just don’t make it on our time schedule. We’re impatient because—in our humanness—we believe that our “unwillingness to wait reasons” are really valid (often they are).
you need a new job now,
you’re “stuck”, and need a positive sign or you’re afraid you’ll give up,
you’ve been praying for someone to be healthier for a long time, or
you feel like you’ve really tried and don’t believe you can do it again.
When change doesn’t happen on our schedule, we often believe we’ve failed—to work hard enough, pray enough, change ourselves enough. We’ve heard Palmer’s, “if at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again”, but think, “great, but that’s a lot easier said than done!”, so we retreat. The change we seek, sometimes doesn’t seem worth the journey.
Shutting Up and Dealing
Many of us do, what I call, “the shut up and deal dance” rather than doing the work necessary to make changes. There are certainly times when I have! Sometimes, it seems easier to accept the unacceptable than it is to stand up and be heard—especially if you’ve already tried and it’s gotten you nowhere. And, sometimes you just get tired of being tired.
You may think that in order to “live in peace” with another person you have to avoid the conflict that may occur as you seek change. But, often that avoidance just doesn’t work.
The outcome of “shut up and deal” is often resentment, hurt, frustration, and sadness. When we don’t share what we need, we become impotent. How you feel does matter, but you can’t assume another person can read your mind. And, if you expect others to change to make you happy then you might be assuming that they’ll ignore what’s important to them.
A New Day
I know it’s often tough to see each moment as a gift, but every day we do get a chance to start over. It’s not likely that we’re not going to wake up with a completely changed reality (or viewpoint) than what we had when we closed our eyes, but there are some things that we can do differently than we did the day before—some changes we can make in the new day.
Be kind to yourself and bend with the wind of change. You probably can’t conquer the world in 24 hours, but you can give yourself permission to be grateful, to listen to the quiet voice inside you, to shout for joy, or connect with another person (you may just change his or her day). See yourself as strong, capable, resilient, and special (you are).
And, let those winds of change blow through your home. With a foundation that’s strong, you’ll have the groundwork on which to build your Peace Full Home.