Today is July 20th, 2015. I wrote the post below almost two years ago, and coming up on the sixth anniversary of my Mom’s passing to the other side, it “felt right” to run it again. I’ve done a lot of thinking and praying during the past twenty months of writing Peace Full Home. I’ve laughed out loud as I’ve written, I’ve cried as I’ve written and I’ve discovered things about myself that have sometimes made me smile and sometimes made me want to rethink “who I really am” as I’ve written. I am honored by this growth (even the rough parts) and more honored to share this walk with you. Thank you, Kay
My Mom died in the year 2009. I miss her daily. We loved each other and we were very close, AND I know that’s not how it always works out. I was SO very sad when she died. She was diagnosed with colon cancer and two weeks later she was gone. Not gone exactly, but gone from this earth plane.
When I was young I was taught about heaven, hell and even an “in-between” place labeled purgatory. I was raised in a world where we went to church every Sunday and, honestly, I didn’t question religion or spirituality until I was a mother myself. My thinking has changed (evolved, if you will) significantly since I was in my 20’s and 30’s. I do go to church, although my faith community doesn’t look the same as the one I belonged to for the first 40 years of my life. I do believe in God. I do believe in an after-life and I do believe I will again see the many spirits I love, who have gone before me. I have faith in the “other side”. However, I don’t usually call it heaven any more because “heaven”, for me, implies “up there”. I think the spirit world is a lot closer than up past the clouds, and that brings me comfort and peace.
One early morning, not long after Mom died, I was in the kitchen making tea (one of her ingredients in the “let’s sit down and talk it out” recipe.) I was sad. The kitchen opens to the family room and I looked outside through the french doors. Perched on a chair on the deck, not more that 5 feet from me, was an owl. In spite of the fact that I’m a morning person, I thought maybe I was seeing things. I looked again. Nope, there was definitely an owl staring at me. I’m not an ornithologist by any means (although I did take a Biology of the Birds class in college), but based on my visits to our local zoo, I’m pretty sure she was a Barn Owl. None of that matters, of course, because she was there. I turned around and saw THE OWL COOKIE JAR on a shelf behind me. The owl cookie jar is one of the few things that I have from my parents’ home. I don’t remember a time when it didn’t sit on top of the refrigerator in the house they shared since I was a baby. It now stands in a place of honor on a shelf in my kitchen. I turned back to the door. She was still there, perfectly still. We made eye contact one more time. She flew off. I had never seen an owl on my property before then. I’ve never seen one here since then either. I KNOW that Mom was checking in, saying “I’m okay and I’m still watching out for you.” I broke down, of course, but the tears weren’t so much sadness, in that moment, as they were peace.
When I talk about Peace in Your Home, it’s not just in the times when everything is going great. Those period in our lives are gifts, for sure, but for most people there are bumps on the road of life. For some, those bumps are a lot bigger than for others. Maybe you had a disagreement with your teenager or your partner. Maybe you’re not feeling like you’re on top of your game or maybe you’re not even feeling like you’re IN the game. Maybe you’ve lost a job, or a friend or a great Mom. Life throws us a lot of curve balls (or growth opportunities depending on how you look at it). There aren’t too many things that we can just “magic away” like the fairy in one of my granddaughter’s books, but with patience and faith, maybe we can at least find peace, and that’s a really good place to start.
p.s. from “The Checklist from Z to A”:
#18. Remind yourself that you’re not in charge of the universe; let’s just try to be “in charge” of ourselves and be the best person we can be. 7/20/15