There are times in life when we’re “on the same page” as someone we like or love. We seem to grow together in tandem. Maybe, our relationship blossomed from acquaintance to dear friend, or from causal friendship to significant partnership. Perhaps, we met someone and instantly KNEW that we were kindred spirits. (How wonderful is it when that type of synchronicity occurs?)
For many, the path to meaningful relationships isn’t easy. We may have had some challenges making us less than ready to leap at the first offer of friendship or love. Some of us have been badly hurt in childhood and are always tentative about allowing ourselves to be close to ANYONE. We may have had our feelings hurt, or our hearts broken, too often to trust that it’s worth giving it one-more-chance. Maybe we were picked on in high school, brutalized at our jobs, or physically or mentally beat up so many times that we just don’t think we have the strength to try one more time—to cross another bridge so we shut down and we stay where we are.
Often, however, we simply aren’t ready to “cross the bridge” at the same time as another person.
Have you ever had an experience where you crossed the proverbial bridge, only to find out that the individual on the other side wasn’t feeling the same way as you? Whether you made a huge proclamation of love or simply shared a lot assuming the other person wanted to become friends, when it’s not reciprocated, it hurts. If that happens, you might become a little hesitant to try again. You play the game that says, “if I make an overture and he/she doesn’t, then I’ll look foolish and feel foolish”. You think, “what happens if I cross the bridge again and get shut down again?” You might reason that crossing the bridge first, is risky. You could feel vulnerable.
The problem is that whenever we hold onto the past, we block the chance for new ”bridges” to come into our future. If we decide not to take a chances eventually we’re likely to become “bridge-crossing averse”.
Sadly, fear of making a poor choice- a mistake, holds us back too many times. If we DO take the chance and cross the wrong bridge or the wobbly bridge or the bridge that breaks and dumps us into the river, at least we weren’t sitting at home, paralyzed by fear, afraid to make a mistake. Successes follow failures.
Sometimes we cross the bridge for the wrong reason, like believing we MUST have a “significant other” in our life. Maybe we’re afraid to be alone. Maybe we’re simply lonely. Please don’t rush into a relationship for the wrong reasons. You deserve to be with a person who is right for YOU.
Bridges are crossed in other parts of our lives, not only into or out of relationships (although I think those trips seem to carry more weight). Sometimes we cross a bridge into a new way of life with a new family member, or a health change or a different career (or the end of a career). We could be crossing into a new place to live or a new way of looking at our world.
Some bridges are easier to cross than others, aren’t they?
Some bridges are very sturdy and you feel confident as you cross them.
Some bridges are very rickety and, even thought you’re walking gingerly, you feel like you’re taking a chance with every step.
Some bridges only go over a little pond and it’s an easy stroll.
Some bridges sway terribly with the wind and you feel like you might get blown right off.
Some bridges are very strong and invite you to bring everything you want with you.
Some bridges have weight limits and you’re carrying so much STUFF that you might just fall through (heaven forbid, you leave the junk behind).
Some bridges are beautiful structures and you take your time and enjoy the stroll.
Some bridges are unbelievably long and you feel like you’ll never get to the other side.
Some bridges have sunshine and beautiful flowers on the other side and you can’t wait to get there.
Some bridges end at a forest, and it’s so dark that you really can’t see what you’re walking in to.
Some bridges are shiny and new and you want to be the first one to use them.
Some bridges are very dilapidated and may fall apart before you get the chance to cross them.
Some bridges have beautiful, calm water beneath them.
Some bridges have murky, stormy, threatening water beneath them.
Some bridges are the ones you’ve admired for years but just never made the time to cross.
Some bridges are very familiar because you’ve run back and forth over them a dozen times.
Some bridges have crowds of people happily waiting for you once you make the trek.
Some bridges have no one at all on the other side, or worse, people who are saying “why the heck did you cross the bridge?”
Some bridges are REALLY high and the view is amazing.
Some bridges are REALLY high and test your courage.
Some bridges have a sign that says “a new life is on the other side”, but you simply don’t believe you deserve it.
what bridges have you crossed that you wish you wouldn’t have?
what bridges do you need to go back the other way on?
what bridges do you regret never having crossed?
what bridges are you avoiding?
what bridges have you crossed that have brought you nothing but pain?
what bridges have you crossed that have made your life better?
what bridges have you crossed that have brought you what’s best in your life?
what bridges have you crossed and found love?
being brave – being scared
being guarded – being vulnerable
being human – making choices – crossing bridges
My prayer for you, this week, is that you cross bridges that bring you great happiness and joy and, of course, peace.
©2015 Peace Full Home-Intentional Living