Last week, I was making pillow covers out of a beautiful fabric. This piece of material is very delicate with silk fibers of amazing colors. These different threads, woven together, make gorgeous patterns of free form flowers, leaves and lines. Each thread is beautiful and shimmery by itself, and together they are stunning.
The non-selvedge edges of this fabric, however, unravel very easily, and I was surprised by how much movement and beauty those strands, laying next to each other, had.
We’re a lot like that piece of fabric. When we’re all “put together” we feel a lot more beautiful; we’re willing to put ourselves out there a bit more. When the threads are woven in just the right pattern, it seems like people look at us differently, than when we “come undone”.
We sometimes believe that we have to always look like the new pillow sitting there on the sofa: no scars, no tears, no signs of wear, no frayed edges. We forget that being worn, and having a “history” is okay; that the history is what makes us who we are. We dismiss the fact that each individual thread of us is splendid on its own.
Let’s not forget there’s more than the outside of us. Just like whatever goes INTO the pillow to create its form, sometimes the “behind the scenes” pieces of us aren’t given their due, because they’re never even seen.
The pillows I made have inserts that are stuffed with down-filled forms. They aren’t overly soft, they aren’t overly stiff, they are luxurious and pliable.
What do we stuff ourselves with? Do we put unhealthy food in our bodies? Do we harbor anger and hatred? Do we fill ourselves with negativity and fear? Do we load our minds with violence and tragedy? Do we hold in our hearts sadness and loneliness? Do we internalize all the hurt that’s been thrown at us by saying, “I must not be worthwhile”?
What do you want the “fabric of you” to look like?
How do you CHOOSE to weave together the beautiful threads of who you are?
Will you CHOOSE to love yourself even when you’re not “all together” or when you feel like you’re falling apart at the seams?
The uniqueness of each of us is our calling card. The beautiful material (patches and all), the threadbare areas worn down in love, the stuff we choose to remain filled with and the stuff we choose to let go of. All of these are the fibers of who we are. How we choose to sit on the sofa of life is something we get to decide everyday.