In our lifetimes, we put on many hats: parent, partner, friend, politician, nurse, writer, artist, banker, chef—the list goes on and on.
Under those hats, we sometimes wear masks: serious, happy, successful, peaceful, available, generous, confident, approachable, knowledgeable; this list, too, goes on and on. Often, we let those hats and masks define us because we feel that we can’t or shouldn’t be ourselves.
If you do enough parading around in your hats and masks, you lose sight of who you really are, unedited, at the core. You might end up being who you think you’re “supposed” to be: the person who’s accepted, who “fits in,” who’s doing a really great job in the role being played. But, if you busy pretending and doing, you might miss the importance of simply being.
Some roles were likely, imposed before you ever have a chance to develop a sense of self. Children hear things like:
“don’t cry you’re a boy,”
“you’re so smart that you’ll always excel in school,”
“of course, you have to go to college,”
“you have to carry on the family name,”
“I know that you’re going to be an artist (or attorney or plumber) just like me”
“you’ll never amount to anything,” “you’re fat (or skinny, or clumsy).”
Many of us have spent our entire lives in “wardrobe and makeup,” and tough to walk through life, always being who you were told to be. Maybe you’ve played so many roles that you’ve never figured out who you really are.
When I meet new people and introduce myself, I say, “my name is Kay McLane.” I don’t say, “I’m Kay McLane because I am not my name. For a long time, when people asked me to tell them about myself, I would start with what I did for a living, add my other roles (mother, daughter, etc.), then finish up with where I live or went to school. Now, when I have a chance to answer that question, I share more about how I walk through life instead of what I’ve done to earn a living.
Start defining yourself with a “Personal Mission Statement, that shares the essence of who you desire to be. Think about how you want to live your life versus your career unless that’s your primary passion. If you’ve never thought about it before, identify what’s really important by making a list of what matters most to you. Find a way to balance your “career life” with the rest of your life, by allowing those paths to merge. Whether you’re eighteen or 80, it’s not too late to “create yourself.” My personal mission statement has changed over time. At this point, my desires are to walk through life with joy and grace, make a difference in the short amount of time I’m on this planet, and honor other people with respect, dignity, and kindness.
Creating a place where you can relax, have fun, and be yourself is critical. Be purposeful about creating a home that nourishes and nurtures the “who you are.” Surround yourself with people who honor and lift you up, then work on “being” not just “doing.”
Who are you?
©peace full home.com®/intentional living, 2013-2020.