Do you ever wonder what you could do to bring more peace, joy and harmony to your home? Do you have lists (in your head, in a drawer, on little scraps of paper) of what you’d like to change?
These are words from David Bowie’s 1971 song “Changes”:
I watch the ripples change their size
but never leave the stream of warm impermanence
so the days float through my eyes but still the days seem the same
Do you watch the ripples of YOUR life move around but never really change? Do YOUR days seem the same even when you hope for them to change?
It seems that most of the changes we wish for, pray for, and hope for don’t make it on OUR time schedule. We’re impatient. In our humanness, that impatience is for what we consider a good reason. Maybe we NEED a job NOW. Maybe we’ve wanted to make peace with someone for at least a year. Maybe we’ve been praying for someone, important to us, to be healthier or happier for a long time. Maybe, we’re STUCK and we need something positive to happen NOW, or we’re afraid we’ll give up. Maybe we feel like we’ve REALLY TRIED and we’re tired.
Often we want change in many areas of our life and that makes the waiting even harder.
We’ve become accustomed to Instant Gratification. Most of us have heat or air conditioning simply by pushing a button. We’re able to stop at a convenience store (for many of us 24 hours a day) to pick up whatever we’re out of . We have access to the world 24/7 through technology. Children play games, on their electronic devices, giving them instant rewards. We can flip through hundreds (maybe thousands) of TV channels to find something we want to watch. We have lost patience and expectancy.
When change doesn’t happen when we think it should, we often believe we’ve failed; failed to pray hard enough, failed to work hard enough, failed to CHANGE OURSELVES enough. The real failure, though, is giving up and not trying again. In the “1840 Teacher’s Manual” Thomas H. Palmer penned “if you at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” We think, “okay but that’s a lot easier said than done”, so we retreat. The change we seek doesn’t seem worth the journey.
Many of us often do what I call the “shut up and deal” dance, rather than do the work necessary to make changes. I know I have. Sometimes it’s easier to ACCEPT a myriad of truly unacceptable, than it is to stand up and be heard, especially if we’ve already tried and it’s gotten us nowhere.
We often think that in order to “live in peace” with another person we have to avoid the conflict that might occur as we seek change. You may have already figured out that just doesn’t work. The outcome is anger, resentment, hurt feelings, frustration, self-doubt, sadness, or depression. When we don’t share what we need, we become impotent. How YOU feel IS important. If you aren’t willing to let someone know what you’re feeling then you can’t expect that person to read your mind. On the other hand, if you expect someone to change to make you happy then you might be assuming that they will ignore what’s important to them. What if you could meet somewhere in the middle?
It’s often tough to see every moment as a gift, but every day we DO get a chance to start over. Chances are really good that we’re not going to wake up and have a different reality than we did when we closed our eyes, but we do get to decide what we can do differently that day; what we can CHANGE THAT DAY.
Don’t try to conquer the world in 24 hours. Give yourself permission to be grateful, to cry, to listen to the quiet voice inside you, to shout for joy. Connect with another person (who knows, you may just change THEIR day). See yourself as strong, capable, resilient, and special. Be thankful for YOURSELF. Bend with the wind. We only have this moment.
Let the winds of change blow through your home. Don’t worry….. if the foundation is strong, the basic building blocks will remain. You’ll have the groundwork on which to build YOUR Peace Full Home.